Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
