I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
