I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
