his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
