I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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