i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
