none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
