Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm just crazy horny about you
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
