Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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