He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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