I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
