My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
