Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He felt like a one man threesome
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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