Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
