so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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