I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
only if we run a train.
done.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
