Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
