Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
is wine microwaveable?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Sorry my hands just texted you
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
