I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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