I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
