that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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