i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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