Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.

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(314): View more from Missouri

you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"

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(702): View more from Nevada

Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim

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(703): View more from Virginia

I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.

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(949): View more from California

He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.

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(509): View more from Washington

You are the jesus of drinking

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex

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