yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Alive.
So much puke
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
