her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Randomize
