I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
