Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
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I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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