Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
