Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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