i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
