Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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