woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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