If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
