And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Fuck appropriateness.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
