he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
