Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
