You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
