I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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