i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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