going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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