Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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