So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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