Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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