I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
