you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
