He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
