My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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