I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
