You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
