update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
