? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
