hotel room ftw
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
