Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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