Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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