Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
