oh god the rape fog is back!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
