you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
