What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
