I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
