I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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