If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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