He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
This is my gift to your gina
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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