i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
