how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
