I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Ketchup is God's man juice
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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