There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Randomize
