How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
