my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
