D3 body, D1 cock
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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