i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
