Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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